An awful ad at [http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=218&ad=27835668&cat&lpid&search=single] inspires me to write my own version.
I never thought in a hundred years I'd do something like this but this idea has been floating around in my head for some time now! Time to let it out! :-)
ETERNAL GRATITUDE and/or MY FIRSTBORN CHILD to the person who introduces me to a kindred spirit.
Do you know of a socially-awkward single female with an old-but-cheerful soul who loves all kinds of skill and knowledge and isn't particularly anxious to get married that you would like to line up with a 33-year-old single guy who probably won't ever initiate anything romantic with her but would deeply appreciate having somebody to talk with?
I'm not really comfortable writing about my good qualities, but a few words about my bad qualities: I can be kind of insensitive, either because I genuinely don't notice the signs of distress or because I'm pigheadedly pursuing something I think is more important. I'm less interested in winning arguments than in determining out what is really true (couldn't be a lawyer), and I'm also less interested in appearances (and therefore social status) than being undisturbed in my own agenda. I can be ambitious and motivated at times but I am also subject to ennui and sloth when I get discouraged. Although I do accept criticism without complaint, especially from close friends, I probably have too much faith in my own judgment and I frequently jump to initial conclusions before the data are all in. I am about 200% more emotional than I wish I were. I'm also prone to making rash vows for sentimental reasons which then have to be kept forever, which is why I can now never eat kangaroo or squish a spider ever again, and probably can never marry. (This inflexibility drives people crazy, including my grandfather. Be warned.)
What I look for in a kindred spirit: I'd kind of like someone to balance me out, someone who is more analytical and less hasty, but who still shares my core values. If you know a girl who doesn't wear earrings or makeup, who has never had a boyfriend or kissed a boy nor particularly wants to do so, who occasionally reads books on chemistry or astrophysics for entertainment (even if she doesn't finish them), who doesn't really "get" people, who ignores social conventions when it suits her ("girls can't be blacksmiths!"), who reacts to setbacks with a wry smile and a philosophical shrug, who understands why vows MUST be kept once made, who makes you want to be better and kinder and more tolerant and more intelligent and more pure-hearted like she is--if you know such a girl, I would like to meet her.
Deck thyself now with majesty and excellency; and array thyself with glory and beauty.
Cast abroad the rage of thy wrath: and behold every one that is proud, and abase him.
Look on every one that is proud, and bring him low; and tread down the wicked in their place.
Hide them in the dust together; and bind their faces in secret.
Then will I also confess unto thee that thine own right hand can save thee.
I could not love thee, dear, so much,
Loved I not Honor more.