Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Personal matters

[I redacted this before sending it on to the blog]
My church callings are as employment specialist and assistant ward clerk. Both of those are going fine, pretty much, although I don't really feel completely competent in either role--but I guess I'm not as incompetent as I started out, either. I am no longer attending Institute, because I checked the Church web site and found out that I'm exempt :). "Institutes of religion provide weekday religious instruction for single and married postsecondary students. Young single adults of the appropriate age (generally 18-30) are also welcome to attend." That's good news for me because I have noticed a tendency for Institute to crowd out other things in my life sometimes, because it pushes church-related activities to >50% of the week (including Sunday, temple night and Family Night), especially in weeks where I need to travel or do errands or go out with a girl or something. I'm not saying that Institute isn't worthwhile, just that it was tough crowding everything in and it's a nice surprise to find out that I'm actually done, at least with that part of life. I expect to feel that same kind of pleasant surprise when I die.
I may have mentioned that I have been considering adopting a dog, lately. There are several reasons for this, including concern over the general poisonous selfishness which is inherent in life as a bachelor, the impossibility (or at least inadvisability) of adopting kids without a spouse--children have a right to have a mother and a father--coupled with the fact that animals have no such right w/rt their owners, basic mammalian psychological needs, etc. At the same time, any such plans have been shoved onto the back burner for the time being because I think I have enough to keep me busy for the short term, at least the next couple of years, in broadening and deepening certain relationships and preparing for the non-zero possibility that I could marry at some point in the next few years[1]. Specifically, there are a number[2] of girls I know, each of whom I love and admire enough to allow whatever kind or level of relationship between us which she should happen to want, from no contact up to marriage or anything in between[3]. The universe is infinite, and ultimately the set of women to whom this applies is actually infinite, but at the moment I know of only a handful and that handful is enough to keep me busy, at least until my capabilities expand. There's one of them I am considering visiting later this year. And of course K-------- is on that list.
I know this sounds kind of weird and polygamous[4], which is really why I fought my suspicions about myself for so long--if the list is longer than one name, "K--------," it's probably infinite in length. Oh. Well. [sigh] We do the best we can with what we've got, right? Where we're wrong we will eventually be corrected.
[1] New data has come to light, and I now know a way to keep all of my promises, to everyone, even if I don't die a bachelor.
[2] More than one, less than six.
[3] Luke 14:8-11 seems relevant here.
[4] The basic truth I've discovered about myself is that I'm not actually monogamous by nature--it's in my nature to treat all relationships individually, separate from any other relationship.
Rock Is Dead. Long Live Scissors!
"The presentation or 'gift' of the Holy Ghost simply confers upon a man the right to receive at any time, when he is worthy of it and desires it, the power and light of truth of the Holy Ghost, although he may often be left to his own spirit and judgment." --Joseph F. Smith (manual, p. 69)

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