I've always kind of liked the idea of ex-girlfriends. It's a nice simple, uncomplicated, platonic relationship with a lot of warm feelings and none of the headaches or obligations associated with romantic relationships--if anyone asks whether you two are dating you can laugh and say, "Been there, done that," and close the subject. It's too bad that it's not actually possible to have an ex-girlfriend without having a girlfriend first, however instantaneously--a state of affairs which repulses me. (It's a wimpy halfway state which is neither friendship nor courtship but tries to be something in between, and in contemporary practice it's nearly synonomous with physical exploitation. Celestial beings have no use for boyfriends or girlfriends.) Fooey on the English language for that.
Someone should get me an ex- for Christmas.
Be pretty if you are,
Be witty if you can,
But be cheerful if it kills you.
If you're so evil, eat this kitten!