The definition of "pornography" I would give to my kids is "pornography is material produced by one person in an attempt to gain power (money, attention, etc.) over another person by manipulating their physical desires."
This definition makes it possible to talk clinically about accidental exposure to pornographic material, and without feeling shame. Case in point: I was on a web site today, skimming an article about Soviet whaling practices, and I kept seeing these highly-inappropriate bikini ads from a company called Venus. The body language of the models was aggressively sexual, and unlike most Google ads, these ones didn't have a little X in the corner for easily closing the ad and opting out of seeing it in the future. The ad bugged me enough that I held up my hand to cover the screen while I searched for ways to disable it, which I _think_ I was able to eventually do after some trial and error. (I clicked on Google Ad Choices, which sent me to Criteo's web page, and I told Criteo not to show me that product again, and reloaded the page--no luck, still the bikini porn. So I clicked on Google Ad Choices again and opted out of Criteo entirely, and reloaded the page, and this time I saw some ad for a hotel or something, so maybe it worked.)
Whoever was selling those bikinis is clearly trying to gain power (money, attention) by manipulating physical desires (aggressively sexual stances, making it hard to opt out), and therefore it's pornography. To them it's just business, probably, but they don't care about the damage they inflict on other people as long as they get their money. And if I had kids, I would want them to know that, and to be able to react to ads like that one by (1) realizing that they're under attack, (2) taking countermeasures, (3) feeling free to calmly discuss the attack with family members without feeling ashamed of the experience.
Am I always successful in fending off such attacks so calmly and disinterestedly? No. I was just lucky today. Do I want my kids to be even better than me at my best? Yes, I do.
-Max
--
I could not love thee dear, so much,
Loved I not honor more.
This definition makes it possible to talk clinically about accidental exposure to pornographic material, and without feeling shame. Case in point: I was on a web site today, skimming an article about Soviet whaling practices, and I kept seeing these highly-inappropriate bikini ads from a company called Venus. The body language of the models was aggressively sexual, and unlike most Google ads, these ones didn't have a little X in the corner for easily closing the ad and opting out of seeing it in the future. The ad bugged me enough that I held up my hand to cover the screen while I searched for ways to disable it, which I _think_ I was able to eventually do after some trial and error. (I clicked on Google Ad Choices, which sent me to Criteo's web page, and I told Criteo not to show me that product again, and reloaded the page--no luck, still the bikini porn. So I clicked on Google Ad Choices again and opted out of Criteo entirely, and reloaded the page, and this time I saw some ad for a hotel or something, so maybe it worked.)
Whoever was selling those bikinis is clearly trying to gain power (money, attention) by manipulating physical desires (aggressively sexual stances, making it hard to opt out), and therefore it's pornography. To them it's just business, probably, but they don't care about the damage they inflict on other people as long as they get their money. And if I had kids, I would want them to know that, and to be able to react to ads like that one by (1) realizing that they're under attack, (2) taking countermeasures, (3) feeling free to calmly discuss the attack with family members without feeling ashamed of the experience.
Am I always successful in fending off such attacks so calmly and disinterestedly? No. I was just lucky today. Do I want my kids to be even better than me at my best? Yes, I do.
-Max
--
I could not love thee dear, so much,
Loved I not honor more.
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