Schrodinger's Emotion

Jenn,

I was thinking about that whole "feeling" thing some more recently. I don't think it's really fair for anyone to expect me to understand my own feelings because they are, of course, conditional. How can you know how you feel before you know what universe you're in? You don't even know what things mean yet.

Example: suppose you, Jenn, have a date with a boy. You're supposed to meet him at a cafe downtown. He doesn't show up. How do you feel about this? You'd probably say that it depends upon what happened to prevent him from showing up. If he's playing on his Xbox at home, you're annoyed. If he's stuck in traffic, you're sympathetic. If he's lying in the hospital in a coma after getting mugged, you're alarmed and maybe a little bit sad. Until you have more data, you're in all three states at once and more. When you find out what actually happened, the feelings you have which are consequents of things which never happened also become things which never happened. When he sheepishly phones you to say he's still at home and just noticed the time, you know that you're merely annoyed, albeit a little mollified that at least he called to explain.

Breaking ties with K. always hurts because I never know whether it was the inevitable result of trying to be friends with someone radically and fundamentally different from me or a regrettable result of my ham-handed handling of a friendship which ought naturally to be very good because we're fundamentally similar. Some day far in the future, I'll be able to look at the trajectories of our respective lives and deduce which similarities were fundamental and which were incidental, because the fundamental traits will remain. Sort of like carving a sculpture. Anything still there after a thousand lifetimes is probably there to stay.

See you then.

Love,
-Max

--
"The presentation or 'gift' of the Holy Ghost simply confers upon a man the right to receive at any time, when he is worthy of it and desires it, the power and light of truth of the Holy Ghost, although he may often be left to his own spirit and judgment." --Joseph F. Smith (manual, p. 69)

Be pretty if you are,
Be witty if you can,
But be cheerful if it kills you.