Ken and Barbie are walking down the street when all of the sudden...
Barbie said, "Ken, I want a divorce."
Ken dropped his cell phone. "You want a what? Why?"
Barbie: "You are to weird you alway worry about your hair and if it looks plastic! Thats why"
Ken started to cry. "Don't be a baby," she said. "I'll even let you keep the dinosaurs." Ken looked up. "Really? Then in that case--"
Alright but only if I can keep the pink teddy bear that when you squeeze it says "I love you" and gives you a kiss. I really...
...think that bear would make a good dartboard because it DESERVES TO DIE!!!!"
At this point Barbie whipped out a machete. "Oh yeah, Ken?! Well SO DO YOU!!!" Barbie launched a spinning jump-kick at Ken's head. Ken looked very surprised as a foot hit him in the solar plexus and a machete severed his jugular and his neck. His disembodied head spun through the air, mouth agape as if to say, "Barbie! I never knew you could do that!"
Barbie was frustrated, she had only killed her boyfriend and these police cars came speeding up just as she was getting in the car and they arrested her!! Her the wonderful Barbie! Barbie was furious and in the mean time they broke her nail! That manicure cost $100.00 it was "silver palm trees"! Once they got to the station...
A scrawny guy wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses walked up to her. "Hi," he said. "I'm Brad Pitt. What do you say we go out to lunch sometime."
"Well," said Barbie. He WAS kind of cute. "I'm busy being arrested right now. Could we do it tomorrow?"
The guy nodded. "That's cool. I'll meet you at your house?" He got on his motorcycle and vrrrooomed away.
"Hmm," she thought. "Maybe there is an up side to being arrested. But, wait--how does that guy know where I live?" A chill went up her spine.
The next day, when it was time for her date with the scrawny guy, Barbie...
sat by her cell with a guard by her at all times wondering if he would show up hoping not. She was really worried but she knew that lunch would be sitting in the visiting room and they had to talk through a little telephone. Though she could...
always just pretend she couldn't hear him through the telephone. Why had she ever agreed to this date in the first place? She would much rather be...
with the stupid vain Ken even though he was boring... Then Barbie got an idea...
She asked the guard if she could use his cell phone. He said okay, so she dialed Ken's number and got... his voice mail. "Ken, baby," she said. "I'm in jail. Do you think you could come over and bail me out?" She hung up the phone, and then realized that she had already cut his head off earlier that day. "Oh!" Barbie said. "I wish I had not cut Ken's head off!"
Suddenly the air began to sparkle, and a beautiful but tiny woman materialized in the air above Barbie's right hand. "Who are you?" Barbie asked, ignoring the gaping guard.
"Why Barbie," said the woman...
[To be continued.]
No comments:
Post a Comment